My Journey To Normality (Part 2)

About a week ago my bed broke, which isn't that much of a big deal. However it does mean digging into my savings till I get paid next week and also seeing my parents again. The closest IKEA is in the town I grew up and the only person I know with a bigger enough car is my Step Father, so I have to spend the weekend with my parents again. I was really hoping after Christmas that I would never have to see them again but it seems like I can't get away from them.

Every time I come back down to this town I regret it. After my Step Father picked me up he decided it would be a good idea for us and my Mother to go to Weatherspoons for dinner. The conversation was very awkward and forced, topics came up that built tension and it was overall not going well. We were all drinking, but unlike my parents the alcohol wasn't going to my head, as much as I tried I couldn't get drunk. I made the decision to download a game on my phone, we could all play, to give us something to do and that worked for a while. It was when after correcting my Mother on her incorrect use of my pronouns, for what felt like the one thousandth time, that everything got worse. She just started shouting out a bunch of transphobic abuse at me and instead of being able to stand up for myself and explain to her how wrong she was my Step Father told me to be quiet and not cause conflict. This is why I'm partaking in Day of Silence this year, I'm so sick of people telling me not to talk about my gender identity because it makes others uncomfortable when I challenge their ignorance and close minded beliefs. Being Bigender is a massive part of what makes me me and I should be able to talk about it and still be treated and respected like any other human.

Eventually my Sister turned up, after finishing her shift at work, by then my Mother was very drunk and being an idiot because of it. My Sister and I thought it best to not get my Mother another drink because she was already getting aggressive, so on the next round of drinks my Sister brought her a lemonade. That really set her off, she was not happy that we had cut off her alcohol and decided to tell me what she thought of me and storm off. Safe to say the night went as well as it normally does. I really hope this is the last time I have to see these people because I can't keep putting myself in these kind of situations. I stayed up all night because I didn't feel safe. The Mental Health team hasn't contacted me yet either, I'm starting to think they never will. I'll never get any help, never get the right treatment; therefore never recovering.