My Journey To Normality (Part 2)

Finally, after a week, I managed to convince one of the nurses to let me out of the ward. It was only fifteen minutes and with four members of staff but I finally got to see the outside again. It was so refreshing. It's not been a bad day, one of the patients had asked their police officer friend to come and talk to us about reporting a historical assault. She basically told me what I already knew, I have to be ready to face the fact that if I report it the court might find that there isn't enough evidence and it is too late to take the case forward anymore. She also adviced me that I should do the trauma therapy first, the incidents already happened a few years ago so it's not like there is a time crunch. It might help me first to go through what happened so that I can make a better informed decision.

Talking of trauma therapy, the impatient psychologist came to introduce herself to me today. We're gonna start the therapy next Thursday. I was so happy when she told me that she'd already been told that I am non binary. I can't explain how amazing it feels when you come across someone that you don't have to explain your gender identity too. There is another transgender patient on the ward, they are still questioning who they are and where they fit in. It's okay to be confused about what your gender or sexuality is and it's okay to take your time trying to work it out. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes you feel more like you. I knew that being female felt wrong to me and being Bigender felt right. It took me a long time to come to terms with that and I still get upset about it. I understand how this person is feeling, they think they're being annoying and irritating to the people around them. I get that feeling a lot when I correct people when they use the wrong pronouns. I feel like a burden on everyone and if I had the choice to be a heterosexual, cisgendered person I would. However I'm not, this is who I am and I'd rather do what makes me feel comfortable rather then worry about what makes other people uncomfortable. I can't change who I am and I'm not going to change for a few close minded, ignorant people, that's their problem. Working out your sexuality or gender identity is your own journey, it's about you, it shouldn't be about other people. It's about learning to love yourself for who you are and knowing that even if you're not like everyone else that's not a bad thing. You are you and you are perfect the way you are. You are valid and amazing, don't ever let anyone tell you what you should be or dictate to you who you are. No one will ever know you like you know yourself, so just do what makes you happy.