My Journey To Normality (Part 2)

28/6/19

Ward round when horribly, why do I even get my hopes up? I found out that the consultant was going to discharge me on Monday. He was going to discharge a sectioned patient, who hasn't been out of the hospital alone or even at all for over a week. He was just going to let me go home without any support and nothing changed again. Proof that no one cares about me and is truly invested in seeing me get better. I'm in hospital because I want to recover, but if he just discharges me before I'm ready to leave I'll just end up dead or back in hospital. However, as I brought up the fact that impatient psychology are going to start working with me he isn't going to discharge me now. Instead he's going to do what he should be doing anyway. He's given escorted leave over the weekend and then on Monday he's going to give me day leave. I actually thought I might have a shot at recovery, but I'm starting to think that being in hospital is as pointless as it has been every other time I've been admitted. It feels as if all hope has been drained from the world. I don't know if I can keep going, or if it's even worth it. Everyone keeps asking me if the SCM is working and I can't say that it is, it's only the start but nothing has changed and I'm not sure it ever will. I should know better by now, nothing I do ever goes right for me so why even try?