The Triangle

Chapter 154 ? Lucid

In 11th grade, after we found out we liked the same girl, our friendship almost fell apart. We didn't speak a lot of the time and when we did, it was only about Y/N.

This year though, we've gotten closer, and I finally got them back as my best friends again. I could give up this future with Y/N, but I couldn't give up a future with them.

Y/N's words still stabbed my gut. I wasn't awake yet because the truth was, I was afraid to be.

After all, she was right, it's my fault Clay's father is dead. He tried saving me, and it cost him his own life. I was scared that my best friend would resent me for it.

Suddenly, the true reason hit me of why I couldn't wake up yet.

It was because deep down, I didn't want to face the consequences of my actions, because deep down, I was afraid of losing Clay.

If I woke up, I'd have to face him, and tell him the truth about what happened to his dad, and how it was all my fault.

I was worried he'd treat me similar to the way he did in 11th grade. For half of that year, he ignored me more, always made up excuses to not hangout with me, and never spoke about me to anyone.

The sad thing was, he still hung out with Nick. He still spoke to him, he didn't shut him out like he did me. I didn't know what was so different about me that he couldn't be a close friend still, but all I knew was, his actions hurt.

Now after everything that's happened, I was scared he'd go back to ignoring me, and shutting me out. I love attention, and the fact that my childhood best friend wasn't giving me any, was hurtful to say the least.

Also, dream Y/N's words burned in my head.

"But if you go back, George...I can assure you...it'll bring more bad than good..."

Did she mean my friendships with my friends or something else? I had no clue.

The only thing I did know was that I wasn't ready to be awake. I wasn't ready for my best friend to hate me, and I wasn't ready for my crush to reject me.

So, I slipped my hands into my pockets and walked down the hallway into mine and Y/N's master bedroom.

Once I was there, Y/N came out of our master bedroom in pink silk pajamas. She instantly smiled when she saw me.

Y/N:
"You're still here."

GEORGE:
"Yeah...you were right..." I walked to her, "I belong here..."

She giggled, then grabbed my cheeks, pulling me into a kiss. While we kissed, I barely did it back. My thoughts were telling me that I didn't deserve her kisses, I didn't deserve this life with her, not after everything I've done.

Y/N noticed immediately my sad demeanor. So, she split apart from me and sat down on our bed.

Y/N:
"What's wrong?"

GEORGE:
"You know what's wrong, you said it yourself. Clay won't forgive me, and he's going to hate me, if he doesn't already..." I looked away from her.

Y/N:
"Who cares if he hates you?" She shrugged, not caring.

I sighed while shutting my eyes.

GEORGE:
"In real life you is so much better..." I mumbled.

Soon, I decided to stop talking and just sleep. So, I climbed into our bed, wrapped the covers up to my neck and shut my eyes. Y/N shortly joined me and held me. Instantly, I winced, she was ice-cold.

GEORGE:
"Why're you so cold?" My eyebrows squished together.

Y/N:
"Because...I'm not Y/N..." She spoke lowly.