The Triangle

❥Warning:
Includes strong language, blood and attempted suicide (sorta).

• 3 Hours Earlier •

-CLAY's POV-
My eyes were focused on my ceiling, my palms placed on my stomach, fingers intertwined with each other. My brain, on lockdown.

I had a million thoughts going on inside my head, and they would not slow down. It's like my brain was driving fast on a highway, going 100 miles an hour in a broken vehicle. Unable to stop, only able to eventually crash and be even more destroyed.

After my crush lost her memories of falling in love with me, after saying I hated her, and after pushing my best friend, bringing him to tears, I realized that I absolutely hated who I was, and who I was becoming.

Sheets were stained with tears, my heart felt pressure being applied to it constantly, I felt alone in this world now. No girlfriend, no friends, only myself. Sadly, it wasn't enough.

Of course I had George but let's face it, seeing him around my crush, knowing that he'd most definitely kiss her, and maybe even date her, all while she doesn't remember ever dating me, was enough to shut him out, just like everyone else.

I took a nap after Nick left my house and while sleeping, I had a dream.

The dream was me, sitting down on the couch with a little girl. Except it wasn't just a random little girl, it was mine and Y/N's future daughter. She was giggling in the cute way my baby does.

And at the end of the dream, she ran away to the kitchen and once she came back, she was holding on to Y/N's wrist. They both smiled so sweetly at me, it felt like I was at peace again.

It felt like I was home.

When my eyes fluttered open from the fantasy world, I was disappointed to had even woken up at all. So, I trudged out of bed, went into my bathroom and turned on the light.

I was met with my reflection looking back at me.

The Clay in the mirror had messy hair, a deepened frown and a hazy, tired glance. The person who I saw looking back at me, wasn't me, and I knew that.

The thing is, the piece of Y/N that died is the same part inside me that died. My happiness died with her memories, buried 6 feet under, never to be seen again.

Y/N's memories only had a 5% chance of coming back, yet, in my head, it was really zero. Because the brain on that highway told me, that if she truly picked me originally, she'd remember me. But she doesn't, which means she didn't.

This year, I've learned to accept the fact that she wouldn't pick me. But it's the fact that all that we've been through, she doesn't remember.

I needed to know in my heart that once upon a time, the girl I've loved all these years, loved me back. But now, she didn't.

I woke up everyday knowing that my crush fell in love with me, that gave me all the happiness I needed to feel to accomplish the day. But now, when I woke up, I had to wake up to the disappointing truth that she will truly, never be mine. She doesn't even remember being mine in the first place.

So, I glanced down at my razor, laid on the counter, and I picked it up. My fingers took out the blade, all with my brain on autopilot.

I had no more thoughts, it was a numbing sensation, due to pure sorrow.

My feet guided me to my bedroom, where I sat on my bed, and applied some light pressure to my wrist with tears flooding my eyes.

A part of me was hesitating, but another part of me knew that I deserved this for being a jerk to Y/N and Nick.