Finding Myself

Eric has left me in this corner for what felt like hours , but it's probably been 15 minutes or so

" Eric can I go outside now, please?" I can't handle standing here for much longer

" No "

" Please "

" I said no "

" It's unfair!" I whine

" Are you throwing a fit" he asks

" No ! I just hate standing here. I wanna go outside!" I whine even more

" Umm I think you are throwing a fit, and I hate tantrums" he says and I hear him come closer to me

I now hear him right behind me and I start getting scared

" I'm giving you more last chance to change your attitude, if you continue you won't like what has to happen" he tells me

" Yes sir " I say and just stand there waiting

He stays behind me ,which makes me so nervous I fiddle with my hands

" Stop messing with your fingers ,your gonna hurt yourself " he says

Well then stop staring at me , I so much wanted to say to him

" Ok ,you can go outside for awhile , just stay in the backyard" he says

And I sigh with relief

" Thank you !" And I start running outside

" No running " he calls after me

I stop and just walk the rest of the way

Once outside I run to the swing I see hanging from a tree ,I sit on it and try to swing myself but it was hard , seeing that it was the big round one

" Having troubles ?" I heard someone say

I look and see Eric , I .. honestly don't want his help because he makes me so mad

" Yes " I say as I stop trying to swing myself and jump off

" Here let me help " he says as he comes towards me

" I'm good, really " I lied , I really wanted to swing just not with this man

" I know you want to, come on" he says and lifts me up and puts me on the swing and starts pushing me

Wow this is fun , I start swinging my legs and find myself saying

" Higher , higher"

He just chuckles and pushes me higher and higher , but of course he was making sure it was at a safe level ,because I felt I could go higher

We hear a car pull up and Eric gets the swing to a complete stop and lifts me down

" Ethan's here, go say hi" Eric tells me

So I go inside ,still feeling like I don't belong tho

" Well hey there sweetie , how was your day ?" He asks as soon as he walks through the door

" Umm it was good " I say

" Aren't you gonna give me a hug ?I missed you " he says

I slowly go to him and hug him and he hugs me tight

" Sorry I was gone all day , I work 5 days out of the week , so Eric has to watch you while I'm gone ok?" He says

" Whyyy?" I find myself saying

" Sweetie,didn't you have fun today?" He asks and looks at Eric

" She was bad off and on today " Eric tells him and Ethan looks at me

" Is that true ?" He asks me

I hang my head " yes " I say

" We will discuss your behavior later , right now I need to shower and get out of my work clothes " he starts up the stairs and I look at Eric

" Didn't you already punish me ?" I ask I really didn't want to talk about what I did all over again and what if he punishes me ?

" Yes , I did , but he is your father , he needs to know this kind of stuff" he says and starts to walk away but stops

" Oh and when Ethan finds the right school for you , you don't have to worry about being with me all day , because I can read that you don't like me " this time he does leave the room ...   

Later I find myself sitting in the kitchen across from Ethan

" Why did you give Eric a hard time sweetie, do you not like it here? Were you upset about something?" He asks

" I wanted to see you " I say

His face lights up alittle , like he's happy that I wanted to see him

" I'm sorry I left without talking to you first , you were just sleeping and I didn't want to wake you " he says

" Eric also said you threw away the food he asked you to finish?"

" I hate eating , I don't like being forced to eat " I say

" Sweetie you are in need of nutrition, you are very small for your age and very skinny, we are only doing this for your own good ,ok ? "

" But if you feel like you can't finish it ,put it back in the fridge to save for later ,ok ? No wasting" he says

" Ok " I say

" Now , what you did today was wrong ok , next time when your angry or upset , stop what your doing and tell someone, say your upset about the situation and Eric or I will talk to you about it ,so you feel better ok?"

" Ok " I say

" Good ,now you ready for dinner , I brought Chinese food!" He says

" Yes " I say kind of excited

" Ok let's eat then we can do something fun before bed "

We all start getting out plates for the food and Ethan dishes it out and hands it back to us

After we finish eating and the dishes are done we go in the living room and find a movie playing on TV and watch it

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep on the couch until I felt myself being carried upstairs and put into bed

" Goodnight little one ,I love you "

It was Ethan

He closes my door and I then fall back into a deep sleep ....