Finding Myself

I wake up to a certain noise , a noise I'm familiar with ...dads laugh ?

I put my feet on the end of the bed and my eyes  slowly adjusted to the dark

" Dad ?"

I get up and walk through my bedroom door and follow his laugh

Can it really be dad ?

I almost ran down the stairs as I realized that the kitchen light was on ,and as soon as I walked in I saw him , standing in the kitchen looking into the fridge

" Oh hi honey" he said as he heard me run in

" Dad ?"

" Why you up Hun , and running at that ?" He asks ,like nothing happened

I start crying

" Oh Sweet pea , did you have a nightmare, here ..

He comes and wraps his arms around me and I almost melt

" Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks

" Da....d ...Dad you we..re supposed to ...be ..be dead !" I stumbled over my words as I cried in his shoulder

" Oh Hun , just because I died doesn't mean I'm not always still gonna be with you , I'll always be watching over you , whenever you need me, just call my name " he said

I look up at him in shock

" I gotcha " he winked at me and smiled big , I smiled back

" Now ....( He said as he wiped my tears ) None of this , no more crying , get up ,get out there and do what you love , I'm always here with you " he placed his hand over mine and placed it on my heart

" Always .....

I held on tight

" I love you dad " I say

" And I love you too "

I woke up and realized that I was dreaming, it was now morning  and I felt a burden was lifted from my chest

" Dear Lord, thank you " I say

I get up and got dressed and smiled , remembering last night

" You are always with me , I shall never doubt it now " I say aloud

" I'm going to be looking forward and living the best life I can with what I have "

I grab my backpack and go outside my door , I got this !

Today I was going to go into school , make friends and be happy , my dad would want me to , I just know it

" Hey Izzy ! How you doing ?" I heard Sammy say

Oh oops I have to somehow explain last night to them ....wait I don't need to , it's a moment between my dad and I

" Hey Sammy , I'm good , you ready for school " I ask

" Always " he smiled and touched my shoulder and went downstairs

Umm odd

He seemed different?

He would usually have this sad look whenever he looked at me ? I didn't see that sad look in his eyes ?

" Sammy " I said before he made it to the bottom of the stairs

" Yeah ?" He looked up at me

" Thank you "

" For what ?" He asked

" For never giving up on me , even when I did " I say

  He smiled " I never plan on ever giving up Izzy  "

I smile and turn to get my phone from my room

What I didn't know was Sammy was still at the bottom of the stairs

" I love you Izzy , that's why "

After school and not being successful in finding any friends we both head home

Me in a daze thinking about dad and what I plan on doing with my life

".....then I was thinking after that we could maybe ride bikes ..." Sammy was talking this whole time !! Oh God oops !

" I'm so sorry Sammy , what were you saying"

" I was saying that after school tomorrow we could go get ice cream and then maybe we could ride bikes ?? "

" Sam..

" But before you say anything,that was a long time ago , I'm better now , we can't let the past keep us from moving forward"

Ouch

He was right , I can't let my past keep me from moving forward..

" Okay , let's ! And we will just do it safe,okay ?" I say

He jumps up and puts a fist in the air

" Yes!! So theres this trail I really want to take you on and it's soo beautiful!! I think you would love it , oh oh also we gotta think of the favor of ice cream you want , I think I want ......"

Wow , I really do need to push forward , my life will get better , I can make a safe and happy place for myself here , of course with the help of Sammy and luke

" Izzy ! "

Umm I think I need to also start a new hobby , and just relax into life

" Izzy !"

Ohh

" Umm I'm so sorry Sammy !" I say

" Let me guess , you were thinking about tomorrow and the fun we are going to have ?" He smiled at me

" Something like that ..... I say