The Heartbreak Factor - Part Four

This part will be from George’s point of view.

“I’d better go back and face the music,” Sammy sighed to me as we walked into the lobby of her apartment block where she now lived with Justin.

“I can come with you if you want,” I suggested as I looked at her.

I could tell with the look in her face that she didn’t really want me to leave. 

Shaking her head, she smiled at me. “It’s probably best I do this by myself,” she said, looking down at Katy as she laid in her arms asleep. 

“I’d probably better go back to Rome,” I laughed. 

I did not want to go back at all – I hadn’t even told Emma where I was going, I just left. But the real reason I didn’t want to go back was I didn’t want to leave my girls, ever.

“It’ll be fine,” she smiled. “At least we’ve got each other, right?”

“Right,” I grinned. My heart skipped a beat to hear her say that. Putting my arms around her, I hugged both her and Katy tightly. I was never letting my girls go anywhere ever again. “I love you two.”

“And we love you,” Sammy smiled, looking up at me.

*

Sat on a chair in the middle of the departure lounge at Heathrow, I should have been listening out for the announcement to notify me that my flight back to Italy was about to board but my mind was just in a daze as I tried to take in everything that had happened in the last, well, it wasn’t even the last 24 hours - more like the last twelve hours. The sun was shining outside, turning today into a beautiful British summer morning. I took my phone out from my pocket to check the time but instead of checking what time it was, I smiled at my background - me, Sammy and Katy on Christmas Day last year when Katy was just two months old. They were the only people I needed with me and in my mind, I decided that I needed to make our little family official - I needed to make Sammy mine officially. Making plans in my head, I failed to realise that my flight was beginning to board. As I continued to get lost in my trail of thought, smiling away to myself as I made all these mental plans, I was interrupted by a vibration from my phone. “We’re at my mum’s. Text me when you know when you’ll be coming back to England and we’ll come meet you from the airport. Good luck with everything in Rome and we’ll see you soon. Love you so much. Your girls x” Grinning as I reread the last bit - ‘your girls’, I stood up and made my way to the boarding gate. 

*

Putting the card into the hotel room door, it buzzed and let me in. I took a deep breath before walking into the room. The lamp on the bedside table was on – Emma must be in the suite somewhere. Turning around, I saw her stood in the doorway of the bathroom. With a towel wrapped around her body, she grinned at me. “Where did you vanish to?” she said, walking over towards me.

“Emma,” I paused, backing away as she got uncomfortably close to me. “We need to talk.”

“I’m bored of talking though,” she smiled, putting her hand on the back of my neck as she cornered me up to the wall. 

“Emma..”

“No talking,” she hushed as she placed her finger on my lips to keep me quiet as she began to kiss my neck.

“No,” I snapped, pushing her off me. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” Emma asked, looking at me in confusion. 

“I couldn’t just.. just leave you here,” I stuttered. “Could I?”

“Well you were pretty fine with leaving me in the restaurant last night without a note in the hotel room for when I got back after waiting for you for five hours,” she said. “You never think about me, do you George? How the fuck can we be in a relationship if you just run off without saying anything? I didn’t know where the hell you had gone. I was worried sick but you obviously don’t give a fuck.”

I could tell with the tone in her voice that she was angry, even though her face didn’t show her anger. “Katy went missing,” I blurted out. “I wasn’t going to just leave you here, but I wasn’t going to just wait around here doing nothing to find my daughter.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” I said. “But apparently I don’t give a fuck so why should you?”

“I didn’t mean that,” she paused. “I.. I..”

I cut her off before she had the chance to finish what she was going to say – probably an excuse. “No, Emma,” I snapped, fuming with rage from her ignorance. “You can’t say I don’t give a fuck. I do give a fuck. That’s my problem. I would have never have left you here without telling you if it wasn’t something really important. In reality, I should be at home with my daughter and Sammy and I could have just rang you to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?” Emma asked. 

“Tell you that I don’t want this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. We’re not in love. We never were and we never could be. I flew back out here so I could let you down gently, but fuck it. I don’t want to do this. I love Sammy. I always have and I always will. She’s the mother to my child and I should have never ended it with her,” I said. “I regret ever separating from her. I’ve always loved her and nobody, not even you, can replace her or my feelings towards her.”

Emma looked at me. “You don’t fucking love her,” she shouted. “You said you loved me.”

“I never told you that I loved you,” I paused, looking at her in confusion. “I never say something like that if I don’t mean it.” 

“So what do you want me to do? Beg you to stay with me? Beg you to forget about Sammy and Katy? Beg you that I’m the one you should be?” she asked in tears. “I’ll do anything. I’ll even accept being second choice if I have to. I just don’t want this.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do that to you,” I said, watching her as she broke down in tears right in front of me, overloaded with guilt. “I would never do that to anyone. I’m not that type of person and if you think I would do that, you evidently don’t know me. You deserve to be happy. We both deserve to be happy and I’m happy with Sammy. I don’t want you to do anything – I’ve already made my mind up. It’s Sammy. It always has been Sammy and it always will be Sammy.”

“It’ll be a mistake. It’ll be a mistake if you take her back,” Emma argued. “You know it’ll be a mistake. She’ll just hurt you again. Trust me, she will hurt you. Girls like her do that.”

“I’ve made a few mistakes in my life, but I know that taking her back is not going to be another one. And even if it does turn out to be a mistake, which it won’t, but if it does, she’s worth it. They both are.”

*

“Flight BA538 to London Heathrow is now boarding,” the tanoy announced as I sat alone in the departures’ lounge at the airport. 

After picking my passport and boarding pass up from the chair beside me, I stood up and began to make my way to the allocated gate. I’d only been back in Italy for five hours but I couldn’t wait to get back out of here and back home to England. I had major sleep deprivation but I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of going back home to Sammy and Katy. 

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I began to write a new text message. “Just boarding my plane now. I’ll see you both soon!! I love you X”