The Heartbreak Factor - Part Four

Walking down the stairs, I zipped my hoodie up and shoved my hands into my pockets. George was in the lounge, watching some action movie as Katy played with her toys in the play pen.  It was nothing out of the ordinary for a lazy Friday afternoon. I walked straight past George, straight into the kitchen and grabbed my chilled water bottle from the fridge.

“Sammy,” George paused as I walked past him again, completely ignoring him.

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” he laughed, pausing the movie as he looked at me.

“What? Me? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why are you ignoring me then?” he asked.

I paused. I didn’t intend to ignore him. I just had so much on my mind that I didn’t realise he was there. “Sorry,” I smiled, kissing his cheek. “I’m just going for a run. I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Take as long as you need,” George smiled, picking Katy up from the playpen, causing her to squeal with a huge grin on her face. “We’ll have some father-daughter time!”

“Daddy!” she beamed, wrapping her arms around his neck as she continued to giggle her adorable giggle.

I smiled at them both before I headed towards the front door. As soon as I stepped outside the house, I put my headphones in and began to run down the drive and out onto the main street, heading towards the park. The September sun was slowly setting in the sky above me as I jogged down the footpath. My iPod was on pretty loud but the thoughts in my head were even louder than the music. It was like for every step that I took, another thought entered my mind - another worry. Twenty minutes of jogging passed by but I still felt like I hadn’t ran far enough - my thoughts were still invading my mind. I thought jogging was supposed to clear your head and make you feel better.. evidently not.

As I came up to a bench, my phone began to ring. Expecting it to be George, I answered it with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be home in a bit. Just..”

“What are you on about, Sammy?”

It wasn’t George’s voice. Instead, it was Chloe’s laughter that sounded on the other end of the phone line.

“Oh, sorry,” I chuckled. “I’ve just come out for a jog and thought it might have been George ringing me to see where I was.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” she joked. “I just thought I’d give you a quick ring to wish you luck for this weekend.”

“Thank-you,” I said, smiling a half-hearted smile as I sat down on the bench that overlooked the lake.

“We’ll be watching it on the internet!”

“You don’t have to,” I laughed. “It’ll be aired at 9pm New York time so that’s like 1am here. I’m the closing act so I’ll probably be on at midnight.”

“Sammy, Joel is a terror at night He’s still not into a proper sleeping routine yet so do you really think we’ll be asleep at 1am?” she asked. “We’re not that lucky.”

“I suppose I was lucky with Katy,” I smiled. “She picked up the habit of sleeping through the night within weeks.”

“Yes, but that’s because her mother is you - you’ve always been the one to be asleep by 10pm and be awake at 9am.”

“Unlike you who’d fall asleep at 7am and wake up at 5pm?” I grinned. “Yes, I remember. You were an absolute pain to have over for a sleepover.”

“You really don’t appreciate sleep until you have a baby, hey?” she laughed. “Anyway, enough baby talk. What outfit you going to be wearing on Saturday night then?”

“I’ve got two dress choices - either a gold knee-length puffy dress or a gold sequinned down to the floor dress.”

“Gold. Your dad’s favourite colour,” she replied.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Means more to me than some fancy designer label I’ve been paid to wear for advertisement.”

“He’d be really proud of you, Sammy. You do know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Beautiful daughter. Beautiful husband. Beautiful house. Amazing career.”

“Beautiful husband? Have you seen George when he wakes up hungover?” I joked. “There certainly isn’t anything beautiful about that.”

“You know what I mean,” Chloe laughed. “He’d be so unbelievably proud of you, just like I am. Even if I admit to say it, I am so proud to call your my best friend - my sister.”

“Look, Chloe,” I paused, rolling my eyes as I couldn’t be dealing with Chloe getting all emotional on the phone like that, even if it was a rare occurrence. “I’m gonna have to be getting back. George will be wondering where I am and I need to give Katy her bath and put her to bed.”

“That’s fine,” she replied. “I need to go make milk for Joel anyway, but I’ll text you over this weekend and, no doubt, speak to you soon.”

“Definitely.”

Hanging up the phone, I pushed it into my pocket.

*

By the time I got back home, the sun had completely set and darkness was fast approaching. Opening the front door, I looked into the lounge to see George fast asleep on the sofa with Katy asleep on his chest as well. Smiling, I walked up the stairs and went straight into mine and George’s bedroom. Clambering onto the bed, I curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed and tried to get all the thoughts to leave my head but they wouldn’t budge. All the thoughts were stuck there.

“You should have said something when you came in,” a voice said from the doorway as I laid away from it.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” George whispered as he laid on the bed beside me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. “I understand. I’ll put Katy to bed - we’ll give her a bath in the morning instead as she’s tired.”

“Thank-you.”

“And Sammy, don’t be nervous for the performance - you’re gonna smash it. You always do.”

I smiled. But to be entirely honest, the performance hadn’t even crossed my mind; and as for the nerves for the performance, they weren’t even there. I had other things on my mind. Other things I didn’t want to even think about but instead they were all I could think about.