The Heartbreak Factor - Part Four

Pacing back and forth in the dressing room that had been allocated to me, I began to fret about everything - the song, the little speech they had asked me to give about myself and my dad, even down to the dress that my stylist had picked out for me. Looking at my reflection, I sighed as I caught sight of the gold dress I was wearing. Closing my eyes, I began to put some rushed sentences together in an attempt to create a speech. “I.. I lost my dad, father, but gained.. gained nothing but lost everything,” I groaned as my mind turned blank as I struggled to think of what to say. As I continued to think things through, there was a quiet knock on the door. “Come in,” I sighed. 

“It’s only me,” George smiled as he walked into the dressing room and closed the door behind him. 

“George, you’ve gotta help me,” I pleaded. “I can’t think of anything to say.”

“For the speech?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I nodded as I rested my head on his chest. “Don’t think about it. Remember when you were all fret up about the wedding vows when we got married but they turned out perfect, didn’t they? Just say what’s in your heart, say how you feel. You’ve got a good heart and saying what is in your heart is one of the many reasons why I love you.”

I sighed. George didn’t really help with giving me ideas of what to say but I smiled at him as I looked up at him. “I love you.”

He gave me a sympathetic smile before kissing the top of my head and leaving me in the dressing room by myself to go and find the rest of my family. Regardless of how much I focused on trying to focus my entire attention onto the performance, there was always the thoughts in the back of my head that kept pushing their way forward, pushing the other thoughts that I needed to be thinking about out of the way. The hardest thing was I didn’t want to talk to anybody about it. I couldn’t. Not just yet.

*

“To close what has been an amazing ceremony in memorial for some amazing people is one girl who is just a prime example of strength. Affected directly with the 9/11 tragedy, this girl managed to turn her whole life around, along with her family through her love of singing. She’s an inspiration to many and a real example of how a young girl didn’t let a tragedy stop her from fulfilling out her dreams. To close the evening, it is Sammy Jones.”

I took a deep breath as I took to the stage. Usually before a performance I’d have already had the adrenaline take over and I’d be rearing to go, but tonight was different. The significance of this performance was dawning on me as I was greeted by Barack Obama, the president of the United States, in the middle of the stage. After handing the microphone to me with a smile on his face, Obama made his way to the steps in the middle of the stage and walked down them to take his seat beside his family. In different circumstances, I would have been ecstatic to meet the one and only Barack Obama but not today. I looked around at all the people looking back at me from the theatre; the seats were filled with eyes of sadness but happiness at the same time.

My mouth broke out a little smile as I saw my mum, Michael, Jack, George and Katy sat in the audience, looking back at me. 

“When I got invited to perform in this show, I was truly honoured and when I found out I was due to close the show, I was amazed. I honestly cannot begin to describe how honoured I am to be performing in front of you all,” I begin to say as I continued to scan the audience. “My name is Sammy Jones. I was born in 1994 to Kevin Jones and Jennifer Smith in York, England. On September 11th 2001, I lost my father in the 9/11 terrorist attacks whilst on duty as a fire fighter. My dad was a hero and he shall forever be my hero. What happened that day was a tragedy, but I know that my father saved a lot of lives and I couldn’t be more prouder than I am of him. My dad gave his life to save hundreds more. The memory of my dad and the memory of all the other innocent people who lost their lives that day; and all the heroes that saved lived on that day; and all the people still here today who lost a loved one that day shall never be forgotten.” I smiled as I held onto the engagement ring my dad gave my mum that was round my finger.

As the audience applauded me, the music began to play for my performance. The lighting in the auditorium began to dim until there was a warm glow filling the stage.

“Aren’t you something to admire? ‘Cos your shine is something like a mirror and I can’t help but notice you reflect in this heart of mine,” I began to sing, holding onto the microphone stand as I continued to look at my family. “If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find, just know that I’m always parallel on the other side.”

“‘Cos with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul, I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go. Just put your hand on the glass I’ll be trying to pull you through, you just gotta be strong,” I continued, getting into the performance as I found myself smiling, forgetting about everything and just imagining that I was four years old again and singing to my dad in the lounge. “‘Cos I don’t wanna lose you now. I’m looking right at the other half of me. The vacancy that sat in my heart is a space and now you’re home. Show me how to fight for now and I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy coming back into you once I figured it out - you were right here all along.”

“It’s like you’re my mirror,” I sang as the choir that was arranged behind me began to harmonise along with me. “My mirror staring back at me. I couldn’t get any bigger with anyone else beside of me. And now it’s clear as this promise that we’re making two reflections into one. ‘Cos it’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me, staring back at me.”

“Aren’t you something, an original, ‘cos it doesn’t seem merely a sample.” Locking eyes with George, he began to mouth the words along with me, making the smile on my face widen even more. “And I can’t help stare, ‘cos I see truth somewhere in your eyes. I can’t ever change without you. You reflect me. I love that about you and if I could, I would look at us all the time.”

“‘Cos with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul, I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go. Just put your hand on the glass I’ll be trying to pull you through, you just gotta be strong,” I smiled. “‘Cos I don’t wanna lose you now. I’m looking right at the other half of me. The vacancy that sat in my heart is a space and now you’re home. Show me how to fight for now and I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy coming back into you once I figured it out - you were right here all along. It’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me. I couldn’t get any bigger with anyone else beside of me. And now it’s clear as this promise that we’re making two reflections into one. ‘Cos it’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me, staring back at me.”

As the choir stopped singing and the music began to fade out, I took the microphone from the stand and held it to my lips. “Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery,” I smiled before the whole theatre gave me a standing ovation. Placing the microphone onto the microphone stand, I bowed slightly with a smile on my face before making my way to the back of the stage and behind the curtains.