The Heartbreak Factor - Part Four

Sitting down on the chair in the dressing room that had been allocated to me, I sank back into it and let out a deep sigh. The performance went well. The speech went well. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t a catastrophe at the same time. I did the best I could considering. A little part of me was happy that it was over. A little part of me felt relieved as I looked at the clock that was hung up on the far side of the dressing room’s wall to see it was five minutes past midnight on Tuesday 12th September 2017. I didn’t have to think about that day for another 364 days. I knew I would. I think of it most days, just like I think of my dad, but I wouldn’t be reminded of it for a year. 

Just as I reached for my water bottle, there was a knock at the door. 

“Come in.” 

As the door opened, I was greeted by three huge grins and two sleepy smiles. “Congratulations, sweetheart,” mum beamed as she hugged me - and the chair. “You did absolutely perfect. I was crying my eyes out. It was beautiful.”

“You really did do amazing, Sammy. Couldn’t be more prouder of you,” Michael smiled, giving me a kiss on the cheek as I stood up to hug him. 

“Thank-you,” I replied, forcing out a smile.

“Well done, babe,” George grinned as he carried a sleepy Katy. 

“Mummy,” she whispered, holding out her hands for me to take hold of her. 

“And why are you still awake?” I joked as I held onto her tightly, rocking her gently. 

“Sleepy Katy,” she smiled, pretending to fall asleep on my shoulder. 

“We should really be getting back to the hotel,” I said to everyone else. “Jet lag and exhaustion isn’t a good combination.” 

“I agree,” mum smiled. 

*

Arriving at our hotel, I headed straight to the elevator, carrying a sleeping Katy in my arms without waiting for everyone else. I just needed to get to bed before I burst into tears. My emotions were all over the place and I didn’t know what to think or say or do or act. The best bet for tonight was to just sleep it off with a good night’s rest so I was in a better frame of mind for tomorrow. 

Pressing the button for the elevator, I waited, rocking Katy back and forth gently to keep her asleep. The last thing I needed was for Katy to wake up after a half hour sleep and for her to be wide awake for the rest of the night. 

“What are you doing?” George asked before mum and Michael caught up with us at the elevator. 

“What?” 

“Stop storming off,” George whispered. 

“Storming off?” I asked, raising my voice slightly. “I’m not storming off. I’m going to the elevator. Do I have to tell you everything I’m doing?” 

“Stop it.”

“George, I’m breathing. George, I’m blinking. George, my heart is pumping blood around my body. Is that better?” 

“Why are you being like this?” he asked quickly as mum and Michael approached us, dragging a shattered Jack behind them. 

“Doesn’t matter. I just wanna get to bed.”

Mum looked at me with a worried look on her face. “Do you want us to look after Katy tonight? If you need to sleep. You look exhausted.”

“It’s okay. I just wanna get to bed without anymore questions.”

“Okay,” mum nodded. 

A cloud of awkward silence surrounded us as we continued to wait for the elevator that was seeming to take forever. Once it arrived, we got in without saying another word. The only words that were spoken were ‘good night’ when mum, Michael and Jack got out of the elevator and made their way to their hotel room, leaving George and I in the elevator with a fast asleep Katy in my arms.