in an open relationship 2

This day has been nothing but awkward , we keep avoiding each other , if he's in the living area than I'm in the dining area, if he tries to join me then I'm in the gardens .

He smirks at me everytime I avoid him , it feels as if every second has 60 hours in it , I can't even think properly.

I switched my phone off after Ethan said all those things and I'm sure Kam has been calling me since I disappeared in the middle of the night after I promised him 24 hours of my time .

Seeing the fact that I'm still alive implies Ethan's sincerity, I was wrong about him , I now understand why he acted that way but I'm still not convinced that he is over Sarah , maybe that's something I should've picked up when he embarrassed her in front of everyone to defend me knowing very well how much she hates that .

I'm sitting on the patio couch outside the house unnecessarily tanning myself in this blazing heat staring at the swimming pool , I hear the sliding door open behind and sigh internally.

I decided to come out here to avoid bumping into him every two seconds in the house which limits me from thinking properly about what decision to make.

He hands me a glass of cold orange juice, " people don't usually tan for this long " he expresses.

" I know" .

" Thinking about what I said? " he says sitting next to me .

" Yeah.." I mutter.

Shyly he says ," take your time".

" I will " .

" take into consideration all the things that are tied to us " , he adds to the pressure.

" What things ?" .

scratching the back of his neck before elaborating ,"the workers jobs , the merger, our numbers , your dad , my reputation as well as yours and Price oils , we stand to gain more if we were together the world stands to be a better place , six hundred thousand people have jobs all because of us imagine if we were to separate the disaster other families would have to endure" .

he is purposely hitting my soft spot, he knows I feel for the families that stand to also lose in this simply because I know what it's like to lose everything over night , my dad went from being rich to being a pennyless 59 year old lying lifeless in a coma , I know what money and making ends meet means for other people ,I do not wish for them to go through what Caitlyn and I went through when we went bankrupt.

I remain quiet, thinking.

" I prefer we fail after trying than to not at all " he adds .

" What you are doing is not like you" I blurt out.

" What am I doing?" .

" nothing it's just ... You are not being yourself ...You just said no pressure but you keep mentioning all the factors that makes me feel compelled to stay , and the way you keep following me it's like you are purposely making sure I don't have time to myself to make a decision that doesn't involve you " I respond boldly.

He remains still and nonchalant," that's not it , I was just trying to explain to you my point of view, why I suggest that we should try " .

My mind is screaming about Kam ,I can't seem to erase Our special night together, how am I even going to look at him if I choose otherwise?.

My life with Ethan is tied with this big strong rod that would make it almost impossible to struggle out of , if I agree to be with him then I must tell him about what happened between me and Kam ,and I'm certain he will not look at me the same after that.

I huff smirking," this just feels too awkward, I never saw this day coming even in a million years " I mutter .

He breaks eye contact" Like I said,take your time" paying no attention to what I just said.

"Tomorrow is your first day as the head accountant", he purposely changes the subject.

" Yes " I play along " I'm excited...Partially..I almost forgot about that " I laugh at myself," since I thought you were going to murder me I threw that idea out of my mind completely "

He smirks , " ah I get it ".

" But I'm ready more than anything ".

This side of him is not a side I see myself getting used to , the shy ,soft ,five words replies, not angry Ethan makes me uncomfortable in a way that I can't point out , I'd be better if he would speak to me in his actor self .