in an open relationship 2

Epilogue.

Austin's POV

Lauren is by far the most ridiculous woman I've come across in this entire planet , she knows she has a better chance of true happiness with me but she'd rather go for her mentally unstable husband even though he's about to lose everything.

I curse the day I started developing feelings for her , plus the days I used to stalk her socials plus the days I used to dream about her , I curse everyday I spend under the sun because I still do , I still dream about her , I still stalk her , I still love her .In as much as I try my hardest not too but unlike her sick husband I know how to keep my mind and heart in check .

I wish I never met her that day at the club because my crush on her would've remained just that -a crush , but either way I eventually would've found myself entangled in her mess because I was already planning on looking for her .

Had I known that things would turn out this way then I'd talk my spirit out of revealing her face to me every night, I would've dated Miranda long ago because I've always been aware of how she felt and because I'm a man of integrity no matter how strong my feelings for Lauren were I never would've come close to her .

I'm at the Mexican Nextdoor bar drinking down my sorrows, I thought I was already used to the feeling of being rejected but today opened my eyes to reality , when someone stabs you with a knife you only get used to the pain after its healed and automatically think you are now immune to deep cuts but when they come and do it again it exposes that lie you got yourself to believe.

I laugh staring at my glass of whiskey," women" I click my tongue, actually not all women are a problem it's," Lauren" I click my tongue again at the thought of her name.

The bruises on my body are nothing compared to the bruises on my soul , I'm reminded of that night she broke things off with me like everything we were was just a figment of our imagination , the plans we made for the future, the vows we made to each other all of that was nothing but a phase to her ,it was raining and the temperature wasn't doing me any favours I thought she'd melt if she could see how sincere I was about her but she did the complete opposite, her eyes pierced deep into my heart as she drew that curtain shut like I wasn't even there .

To me those moments were everything,I wasn't planning on waiting after her divorce with Ethan if she had gone through with it ,I was going to marry her right there and then ,the ring I gave to Miranda was Lauren's , if only she knew how serious I was about us , actually I'm certain she knew she just wanted what she was used to , her words replay in my mind " if something is too good to be true it usually is ", that's her life's Motto ,that's why she keeps choosing Ethan, ' the hell you know is better than the hell you don't ' little does she realise that heaven exists and she knows its real , she knows it is ,she just doesn't want to be apart of it .

It pained me to pretend the feelings I had for her were gone because I'd imagine that she'd realise how much I meant to her when I was no longer there but she refused to be affected by me in any way, I heard that women usually crawl to their first but not Lauren, I might've been her first but Ethan is her first first , I thought I'd use my child as a portal back to her but that plan also failed dismally tonight.

I smash my head on the bar table," stupid me , if I opened my door to her then I most certainly would've won , she was right in front of me and I let her slip " , sadly I can't turn back the time , she has already made up her mind there's no guarantee that she would've stayed with me even if I helped her , if my child wasn't involved then I would let her be in as much as I'd love to see her happy my morals just don't allow me to let her raise my child with Ethan when I'm fully capable of doing it on my own and in a better way, what values can these two messed up individuals going to teach my kid ? , I can't allow their disease to continue down many generations .