Next Big Recognition Contest

Comment Topic: Name three characteristic traits of the Protagonist simply by reading one chapter. Sometimes authors portray a character a certain way when in reality, readers perceive the character entirely differently than what's being presented. (This is a tough one)

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Author #1: ChasingInfinity1

Book Title: Slowly but Shirley

Book Link: /story/44957687-slowly-but-shirley

Specified Chapter: Chapter 1, Protagonist: Shirley Mariana Jensen

Summary Thus Far in Book: None

Author's Note: I just recently began writing on 抖阴社区, so I would love any feedback on my story :) If you like it, please don't forget to vote/comment/follow!

Moderator's Chapter Rating: PG

Genre: Teen Fiction

Winning Comment: First, I have to say, I was very impressed with the choice of vocabulary and the sentence structure. There weren't any punctuation errors either, as far as I could tell. This story grabbed my attention from the beginning, when I read the summary and the prologue before I read the first chapter. It's hard for an author to make their readers care for a character, but you succeeded in doing so! As I read the prologue, I felt a pang of sadness for Shirley, who trained for months and months to accomplish her dream, yet never had the chance to and was disqualified from the group after one simple mistake. I also felt frustration for whoever that guy was. The look of doubt in his eyes had caused this all, and I hated him immediately for it. Good job on that! It also left me craving for more, and left me in a cloud full of mysteries, like who is that guy? What happened to her afterwards? Will she get another chance? This is exactly the kind of prologue everybody needs in their stories. Prologues should give the readers a rough idea about what the story will be about, and you did amazing on that! Again, good job! Now, back to chapter 1 and the character traits. First off, I feel like Shirley is kind of stubborn /unforgiving, someone who holds grudges against another. I mean, her sister was gone for a good two years, and she still didn't forgive her (not like it's a bad thing). It quotes directly in the book: "Wow, so you left me in a crappy trailer and moved into a freaking castle? What the hell, Alice?""My middle name's Mariana, not 'freakin', but its not like you would know that, right?" "She had been so accommodating and kind, but part of me still despised her. It will definitely take some time before she could earn my forgiveness and trust." Like this, Shirley isn't the kind to give in and say "It's okay, I understand," so easily, and I like that about her.

Second, I think Shirley is a bit impulsive (I'm trying to come up with a better word for it). It is clearly shown that she speaks without thinking sometimes, like she did here: "'My middle name's Mariana, not 'freakin', but its not like you would know that, right?' I suddenly snapped, my voice laced with the hostility and anger that had been pent up inside me for the past years. It was a horrible retort, but I don't think my brain was controlling my mouth at the moment. She regretted what she said, saying it was a 'horrible retort,' and that her brain wasn't controlling her at the time. It means she was drowned by her emotions and failed to think of what she was going to say, and just blurted out the words her heart had in mind.

Finally, Shirley seems to be trying to stay strong, but in truth needs someone to lean onto. Like how she admired and loved her sister, and needed her so much that when she left, she was left hollow inside. And I don't know if the incident happened either before Alice left or after, but I feel like it was after. It states in the chapter: "you're stronger than him, you deserve to live your life." She left her home to go live with her sister. If she was all mightily strong and feared nothing like a typical stereotype MC would do, she would've punched down that guy and said 'I don't give a crap about losing! I'm strong! I don't care about my dream being shattered, I'm going to live my life here!" Instead, she searched for her sister, even after all that remorse and hate she felt for her after she 'abandoned' her. Overall, I think the characters are interesting, the plot is thrilling and unique, and it is something I definitely need to stick with until it's over! Great job on this chapter! I hope you continue writing, because you're an amazing writer! - swiftiegirl1010