Next Big Recognition Contest

Comment Topic: Identify the Mini-Plot of the chapter, and describe how the writer can make it bolder---more juicier. Be specific. Remember a quality comment is 5 sentences or more. Enforcers will be looking out for this.

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Author #1: TheRecklessRebel

Book Title: EVERMORE

Specified Chapter: Chapter 1

Summary Thus Far in Book: Two years ago, Kate Cross kidnapped criminal profiler Gaspard Booth and tortured him for ten days, but instead of killing him, she decided to let him go. She turned herself in, and now Kate has been locked away for the rest of her life, while Gaspard is in a prison of another kind---alcoholic, disfigured and disabled, powerless to get those ten horrific days off his mind. He continues to visit Kate in prison once a week as the body-count still rises, saying that only he can get her to confess as to the whereabouts of more of her 'followers,' but even he knows the truth---he can't stay away.

Author's Note: -I would like to say a thank you to those who allowed me to take the step and get a place this week :) . Evermore is a story that was inspired by a jumble of things and can be 'mature' for some readers. I would be most honored if you fancy chapter one, that you would give the rest a chance. Being said, I do have a few questions :

Main character, Gaspard Booth, is a flawed beyond repair 'hero' but I'm more interested in your thoughts about character, Kate Cross ( antagonist ).

1 ) What makes her, the villain, entertaining?

2 ) What makes her, the villain, memorable?

3 ) What can I do to make this villain better?

Genre: Psychological-Thriller

Moderator Rating: M (For the horror aspect, but this is the MOST suspenseful book yet to be featured on NBR)

Winning Comment: This first chapter had me on the edge of my seat. I don't know if it's because I'm a sadistic person but I enjoyed how graphic you made it. It wasn't too brief and yet it wasn't overboard to where it made me sick. It was perfect, and so was the suspense! Author questions: What makes the villain entertaining is that she is unpredictable. Gaspard thought she knew everything about her procedures, but she surprises him. Kate is not predictable. She also seems to have some sanity but is on the verge of losing it all. What makes Kate memorable is that she is very precise, intelligent, and clean. She is smart, and you have no idea what the motivation is behind all of this. To make this villain better is to show how she got to this point. Everyone has a good side and a bad side; make it known she has a good side. Memorable villains, for me at least, fully understand what they are doing and their consequences of acting upon it. Make her have a strong reason to why she is doing this that the audience can understand; not just thirst for blood. Plays with the readers minds and makes them emotionally frustrated at the end Comment topic: The mini-plot is the protagonist, Gaspard, uncovering the mass murder, Kate. Clearly there has been some history between the two, which will hopefully be revealed later on in the story. I am slightly confused if he was a cop willing to do this or was taken against his will. You can make it bolder by emphasizing that more. In this chapter alone, I would focus it more on the events than the background to leave the readers on a cliffhanger and wanting more. Focus on more what the villain is doing to the character rather than putting a name on the face. Overall it was amazing! I loved it! Definitely putting it in my library! " - ccdymond28

Network with this Winner:ccdymond28