Next Big Recognition Contest

Round 13

The background characters are usually just that - in the background. But, you have used your narrator as the black background to highlight the qualities of Marie, so to say. It feels like the dynamics of Watson and Sherlock. Watson is the narrator, but Sherlock is the main player of the game. This appears to be the same. I loved the fact that he is gay, and you don't go around preaching about it which keeps the focus on the story intact. So far, you have established their dynamics in a beautiful manner, which is worthy of being noted.

For the French, I am not a fluent French speaker, or even reader (I am pretty bad at it) so some might find certain difficulty while reading 'Bein Sur' . Other than that, wherever you used French, it was explained in English in a tactful and clever way, which somehow conveyed the meaning.

I have a feeling that this is inspired by Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, and must I say, it is very beautifully done. Robert Langdon may not be gay, and not even a detective, but I find certain similarities between the dynamics of Sophia-Robert and Marie-Stewart. The Feminist in me is rooting for this story.

You go girl! You just earned yourself a reader. And a very picky one at that (as you can tell by now *wink*) All the best! - Debismita

Follow this Winner: Debismita

1st Runner Up: PipSqueeks88

2nd Runner Up: Holly_Gonzalez

Final Author's Note: Thank you to the NBR community for providing me with such thoughtful and constructive feedback on my chapter, and thank you DS to for giving me a chance at the Spotlight! [such an honor to have spotlighted your work]

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Author #2: twin_cities

Book Title: Don't Stop The Music

Book Link: /story/43607947-don%27t-stop-the-music

Specified Chapter: Chapter 2

Protagonist: Esther

Summary Thus Far in Book: Not Provided

Author's Note: (freaking out throughout) Hi! Basically, I've never written a Teen Fiction novel before (Fantasy is more my speed) so I have no idea how to make the storyline interesting. Reader engagement is what I'm most concerned about: if you found your interest flagging, why? where? Also, did you find Esther's lack of self-confidence realistic, or too over the top?

Please be as honest as you can...even if you hated the whole thing lol. I'm trying to improve and write something I can be proud of, and I can't do that without your help! Thank you :)

Genre: Teen Fiction

Winning Comment: Hi twincities!! Lets get started with the editing first:

-Try "It was tiring, a waste of time, and made her more and more disillusioned..." on the fourth paragraph.

-Try to replace the colon with the semicolon in the sentence, "There were only ever a couple of people in the music tech rooms..."

-Get rid of "both" in the sentence, "...she could have finished the both of them in an hour."

-Try "she thought it WAS harsh" instead of "she thought it harsh."