Next Big Recognition Contest

Round 20

1st Runner Up: Darkened_Forests

2nd Runner Up:RutherJake

Final Author's Note: A thanks to all who stepped up to read Evermore this past week. I know a good chunk of you were on a 'blind date' with the horror genre and never thought you could even like it but some said they were pleasantly surprised. I'm glad I could be the one to introduce you :) - it was SO hard to pick top comments, because there were so many helpful ones and I thank all of those that commented pointers and tips. Some thought they were too harsh, but I disagree. A writer must learn to use criticism to make themselves better and I shall.

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Author #2: alpacapoo

Book Title: How I Got Over My Ex

Specified Chapter: How it all started (Chapter 1)

Summary Thus Far in Book: N/A

Author's Note: Are you inclined to read on? What do you think will happen? Has something like this ever happened to you?

Genre: Chick-lit

Moderator Rating: PG

Winning Comment: Just wrote part of my comment before I accidently clicked on an advert and lo and behold, my comment is all gone *sigh* :(

Anyway, I digress. I, like many a person who hath come forward from the ranks of NBR, was pleasantly surprised by this chapter. I thought, before reading, "Hmmm, chicklit, hmmm" *sigh* as I am more of an action/scifi/mystery orientated person. when I read this chapter, I really quite enjoyed it! It just goes to show, don't judge a book by its genre or however the saying goes. :p

I'm going to leave grammar etc because it has probably all been pointed out to you many times before by far more qualified people than myself and no major errors really stood out for me.

I thought that your writing was excellent, your narrative was very good and your dialogue felt very natural. I felt the only place your writing lacked a bit was when she walks in on Chris and mysterious purple bra girl. I would say that Lucy could feel something ripping inside of her, or something to the same effect. I know you want her go feel empty, hut an initial shock amd burst of feeling would be nice and then you could make her feel empty inside, just so it's easier for the reader to identify with her. She just felt a little empty and like it wasn't that big a deal, though I really like the fact that you picked out the bra as our brains have the tendency to pick put small details when we are stressed or under great emotion.

For the NBR question, the mini plot was pretty obvious, it was to show the reader what had transpired and to introduce the main characters.

To answer your questions,

1.I would be inclined to read on as the standard of writing was really very good and everyone likes to see the progression of a character that they can really relate to .

2. I think that the Chris and the mysterious purple bra girl will get their fitting retribution with help from Jane. To be perfectly honest, I feel like purple bra girl is Jane and one day, Lucy is just going to find a ... lacy purple bra belonging to Jane in her dorm room and a massive fight ensues! (Or maybe that's just my action/mystery orientated mind trying to turn it into a mystery(Although, can we just appreciate how awesome the title"The Mystery of The Lacy Purple Bra" would be? Anyway, I digress again(Sorry!)))