3. Hahahaha, like I have a boyfriend in the first place! Or rather like anyone is worthy of myself! Anyway, that's beside the point. No, I have not had an experience like that, however, I have felt betrayed before so I can imagine what it would feel like.
Overall, a very well written chapter, which I thoroughly enjoyed, which is an achievement in itself as I am a very picky reader. It was very interesting and raised my opinion of chicklit, so a big, big well done and thumbs up! :D - nberry34
Network with this Winner: nberry34
1st Runner Up: swiftiegirl1010
2nd Runner Up: Heavenlyhash333
Final Author's Note:First of all, thanks everyone for taking the time to read and comment. I hope I managed to break the negative connotation surrounding chicklit. It was quite the task picking a winner. I picked nberry34 because she covered all bases with her comments (except for grammar but it would be just a repetition of the rest).
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Author #3: a-dora-ble
Book Title: Deadly Secrets
Specified Chapter: Chapter 8- Rubair
Summary Thus Far in Book: Zara (protagonist) has been running away from a stalker, and she's stuck in an alley with him now. This chapter is the big reveal of who he is.
Author's Note: Before I ask any questions, I'd like to thank Dawn for the wonderful spotlighting opportunity, for giving a little undiscovered author like me the chance to shine. [you deserve it!]
I wrote this chapter in the beginning of the year so bear with me ^-^'' it's really important for the story so I need all the help I can get.
I don't have any questions per se, but just feel free to tear to this baby apart with everything and anything that comes to mind, and don't hold back :3
Genre: Action
Moderator Rating: PG
Winning Comment:
*whistles to self while getting ready before lappie*
*mumbles to self: Ok... let's do this...*
*cracks knuckles* ow...
'ello. So, ok, I'm just going to make notes as I go through the paras. Let me know if it's not clear where I'm at, k? K. *nods*
I won't go into detailed copyediting because it's just your first draft, but the only thing I'll mention is probably 'make comma your friend'. Coz I love mine. Commas are cool. Erm, eg. "He was the son of Fernando Rubair, owner of the Rubair Enterprises, one of the largest Spanish companies in America that dealt with pharmaceuticals, and was as a result filthy rich, only going to a public high school because his father wanted him to be grow up to be "humble" and "learn from the less fortunate". Wow. That's a wordy sentence. Consider chopping it down. That's where commas help.
—> "He was the son of Fernando Rubair, owner of the Rubair Enterprises, one of the largest Spanish companies in America, that dealt with pharmaceuticals, and was, as a result, filthy rich, only going to a public high school because his father wanted him to grow up to be "humble" and "learn from the less fortunate".
YOU ARE READING
Next Big Recognition Contest
RandomThis is a contest designed to help expose your novel to the greater 抖阴社区 community. Whether you just joined 抖阴社区 or have been an active member for years, the sole purpose of this contest is to assist in the recognition of your book. NBR'S CUR...
Round 20
Start from the beginning
