Next Big Recognition Contest

Round 62

Summary Thus Far in Book: Alexandra just rescued Savy from a would-be rapist. Lady Lesya's First Mate and her ward leave their aggressor bleeding on the ground and try to return to the ship—but they find themselves chased by vengeful men. In the meantime, an innkeeper, ready to go to bed after a long day, has to change his plans when the door of his tavern is kicked in by Captain Desjours's men.

Author's Note: I should have remembered to never say never... But this is one hell of a surprise! Here I was, thinking I would never be picked as best reviewer, having lost all hope of becoming a triple crowner, having been close to quitting NBR completely... And today, I'm the new Champion Reviewer! Don't get me wrong, here, it's not bragging—it's bewilderment! And happiness! I hope that you'll like what you read from the Tales this week (because you'll read quite a lot, sorry ^^). And if you don't, please tell me why!

1/ Some of you found difficult to follow my first chapter due the number of characters. So I wanted to know if these parts made things more clear, for example: if my many main characters start to take shape in your mind, if their voices, habits and specificities let you understand who's who, if you have a favorite, etc... What is your opinion on my anti-heroes?

2/ Tales of a Pirate Crew mixes a lot of genres under the label "Adventure", darker parts (sometimes violent and gory) following lighter ones (that I hope to be fun and humorous). Are the different tones well balanced?

Winning Comment: 

Hi Sam, very pleased to see you are the current CR and am glad that it is your writing that we get to take a triple bite out of this week. I remember your first chapter, have recently benefited from your comprehensive reviewing technique and am eager to do my best in return. So here goes...

1/ Characters:

Yes, I found this chapter much easier to follow. The previous one had strong characters, it was just that identifying them by hats etc. instead of names was really confusing. I know the hooker on the steps saw hats and not name-tags. Sucks to be an author...

You've given each of them a consistent personality, clearly different from each other, believably complimentary to that group, and done so without making it awkward. Instead of choosing odd moments to tell us about them, you work their personality and descriptions in naturally to the story unfolding.

My favourite is Stalker. He's dark and dangerous, moody, capable, and still has a sense of humour. If anyone is going to successfully mutiny it will be stalker. But he'd have to get the affable and charismatic Ooma on side and use him as his mouth piece. Stalker is like a jack-in-the-box full of knives, just hoping someone will come along and wind him up.

My only suggestion regarding characterisation is to recognise that as the author you already know who is doing what, but a reader can get lost in pronouns in you aren't really careful. If there is room for doubt in a pronoun, name the character instead.

You've also worked hard on giving them distinctive voices. Accents are a great tool for this and you're doing fine in my opinion

2/ Genre?

Horror and humour are great bedfellows. And neither is at sea in a pirate tale. So you have nothing to worry about in trying to combine them. Tension causes things to be funnier but it also has the effect of destroying the tension it benefited from.

Humour can also rob a scene, even a whole novel, of its weight, it's impact. But this is a different type of humour to what you employ. Puns, pop-culture references, repeated gags, extreme exaggeration are all forms of humour that weaken the tone of writing. But your humour is observational, personality driven, and derived from the story, not layered over the top.