Next Big Recognition Contest

Round 62

"lifted (a)<the> kicking fury." 'the' because there is only one kicking fury.

Network With This Winner: TimothyMarsh

First runner up: mamoritai

Second runner up: PassengersOfWind

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Author #2: SamSchloesing

Book Title: Tales of a Pirate Crew

Specified Chapter: The Hangover

Summary Thus Far in Book: Some things happen between the previous spotlighted chapter and this one, but I really think that you can understand what follows without any summary. The only important thing to know is that the dark figure is a woman, and that she will kill Stanley after Joseph helps him get home.

Author's Note: 1/ As the tempo slows, my chapters get longer. I take some time for more thorough descriptions, hoping it doesn't damage the action. Is my style still coherent with the previous chapters?

2/ I introduce two more characters here (and focus a bit more on Steagle). What is your opinion on them and, more importantly, do these new characters (and the situations) help to merge the distinct plot lines like I intended?

Winning Comment: 

Hey Sam! Back again

I'll hop straight into your questions:

1. While the tempo is a lot slower due to the amount of description that this chapter introduced, I'd definitely say your style is still coherent with the previous one. If anything, I'd say the only real difference is more detail. The previous chapter was a bit more dialogue-intensive, with patches of detail, while "The Hangover" seemed to have a greater balance between setting and characterization. For example, Jade's attention to the water and sunrise, and the way Steagle's point of view painted a more vivid picture of the town ("bursting with people..." "the gentle slope of the hill where Puerto Seguro had spread like an ugly tumor", "carts and crates and trunks were everywhere..."). Nevertheless, there is still that distinct attention to the uniqueness of each character; Jade's love of science and medicine – perhaps even books in general – and the Don Juan's attention to detail and his practical, Sherlock-like approach to the crime scene ("Don Juan counted to ten. When he opened his eyes, he didn't see scattered body parts anymore, only a puzzle to be pieced together.) Steagle is still as quirky as ever.

Incidentally, I think the slower tempo coincides well with the chapter title; "The Hangover". It almost immediately suggests a slower, calmer tone after the storm of a night that took place previously; from Alexandra and Savy (what happened to her by the way?) getting attacked by would-be rapists to Cap and his at points rowdy men at the bar. What I'm saying is, maybe the morning after does call for a slower tempo.

2. Interesting new characters, though I think that hinges on your portrayal of each. (You're very good at creating distinct personalities and I really enjoy that aspect of your writing). Jade is clearly very intelligent and level-headed and I think those are perfect traits for someone tasked with tending to the medical needs of a crew known for getting into their fair share of trouble. She wasn't even surprised when Alexandra returned injured. As for the constable, he's clearly an intelligent man too and seemingly very good at his job, based on the way he takes his time in dissecting the crime scene. I found it impressive – maybe even intriguing – the way he was able to allow himself to become emotionally detached so he could view the scene more objectively. They definitely help in merging the distinct plot lines. It's clearly just a matter of time before they all collide.