My Journey To Normality (Part 1)

It's late and I'm very tired, but I'd rather write this down so it doesn't keep me awake. Most people only have to deal with one or two problems at a time throughout their lives. However it seems like I draw the short straw and have been forced to deal with so much already in the span of 18 years. Depression, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive disorder, Dyslexia and Hypermobility syndrome. I just have the worst luck and to top it off I have a horrible set of parents. I've come to expect the worst out of every situation. Life just seems so unfair and no one understands the effect of having to deal with all these things at once. They all feed of each other, making me feel miserable and increasing my desire to just die. I only have the hope that my suffering might actually be for a purpose, but that hope is small and decreases with every second my life doesn't get better. I'm becoming so overwhelmed by everything and the thought that I might have to deal with all these problems my entire life sucks! I guess this is why I also hope my life is short. If death can stop my suffering and pain should I not embrace it? I guess I fear the unknown, but I still hope I die soon.