My Journey To Normality (Part 1)

I'm feeling so low it's unbelievable. Whenever one thing goes right a hundred more go wrong. The girl who saved my life came back for her ward round today and it was awkward. I'm happy that she got discharged because I know it's better for her but when she left it was so hard. I really like her and she said she likes me but I know that a relationship won't work because we're both still trying to recover. I'm gonna stop messaging her so that she can forget about me and go on and have a good life without me pulling her down. She probably doesn't even still like me. Probably only liked me because of the proximity of being in hospital together and has now realised what a horrible, boring and pathetic human I am and wants nothing to do with me. It's for the best.

My ward round went horribly, they won't listen and they don't care about me and my wellbeing. All they want to do is discharge me, but I'm homeless so where would I go? Jack has gone back to uni and Mandy and I aren't friends and I don't want to be a burden on anyone else I know. I'm gonna talk to someone from the resource team to see if she can help sort out my accomadation. Luckily they aren't gonna discharge me yet, I was scared that they were gonna discharge me onto the streets. I'd rather kill myself then sleep on the streets, I don't know how people actually do it. I would of jumped off a bridge or something. I'm a waste of oxygen, taking up space and people's time. I want to die really really badly.