My Journey To Normality (Part 1)

So firstly, that charity I self reffered myself too that was meant to get me a counselling appointment straight away finally got me an appointment. 3 months late, but I am happy that they finally got in touch and now every Saturday I have counselling.  I'm making one more step to recovering.

The other thing I wanted to write down was what is happening at work. Honeslty, I'm beating myself up over this, I think I just made it worse and maybe I'm overreacting because of how pathetic I am. There is this girl at work who when she found out I was gay decided to tell everyone she was also gay. I'm already confused whether or not she likes me because of how clingy she can be to me, but there is another girl at work that thinks because we're both gay and get on we could be an item. She's asked around to see what everyone knows about it and has made a few comments about the 'chemistry' we have. It's so frustrating when people make assumptions about us just because we're two lesbians in close proximity. It was really pissing me off, I know it's probably just work place banter but for me it complicates things. I just happen to get on with her, I don't want anything to become of it and I don't want these rumours making her think something has or will become of us being friends. I don't want a relationship, not just with her but with anyone.  I don't believe in true love and I don't ever want to fall in love again. Love leads to hurt and I'm so done with getting hurt. People seem so obsessed with love and sex and to me it just reminds me of all the bad memories of Luke, my Step Father and everyone else who has said they love me just to leave and betray me. Shouting at the girl spreading these rumors probably wasn't the best idea, she denied it all and made me look like an idiot. Also it's probably just encouraged her to keep talking about it.