My Journey To Normality (Part 1)

I spoke to the women from the resources team and she said the quickest way of getting a place to live is renting somewhere. I have tried to get somewhere to rent in the past but everyone wants someone older and who earns more money. Plus the town I live in is so expensive. But it doesn't matter where I look there's always a list of things I need to do that I don't know how to do. I wish I could be strong enough just to end it all and die but it seems death is not in my cards just yet. When I stood on the edge of the bridge I asked God to clear the roads so I could jump off without hurting anymore else and the roads did not clear. When I was drunk and trying to get hit by cars, wandering on roads without looking every road was empty. I don't know if that was coincidence or if it was God's way of saying that I'm not meant to die but either way I'm still alive.