?This is a story based on true events about someone who is on their journey to recovery from mental illness. Their questioning of gender and sexuality. Going through relationships and break ups. Just an all about coming of age story of a person that...
In relationships one of two things happen: they hurt you or you hurt them. I've spent my whole life putting everyone else first and being the one who gets hurt. Then when I try to be selfish like they are, when I'm the one who hurts them, I still get hurt. I hate seeing people feel the way I feel every day. I never win. Even now being Robin and trying to start fresh I sometimes feel like I'm still Emily. Emily was weak and afraid, I don't like being her. Robin is stronger, the past doesn't affect her as much as it affected Emily. Those memories are fading, they made me who I am now, but I want to completely forget them. Though neither Emily or Robin are me right now. They're personas that keep It from hurting people. I feel It clawing at my insides, trying to take control. However; it doesn't have control. Yet. I know the consequences if I stop suppressing It. It's all the anger and hatred built up and I know if I don't keep pushing it down then I'll end up locked up with no escape. What I have now, though not perfect, is better then what I would have if the world saw me for what I really am. Even so, I feel so suffercated. I hope when I finally move out that feeling of suffercation and the presence of It will decrease.
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