Catalyst (probably not going to update anymore, don't watch the show anymore)

Losing Jay took its toll on me. He was another person that I couldn't save. Another Eobard Thawne. Another Eddie.

Barry hugged me from behind as we lie in bed, whispering in my ear trying to make me feel better, "It's okay to cry. We're all sad."

He kissed my shoulder, and I sniffled, "I feel like I have to bottle everything up when I'm around Caitlin so she knows she'll be okay, but I'm just lying to her, Bar."

"Trust me, Caitlin knows you're trying to make her feel better," Barry sighed. I twisted his engagement ring around his finger.

After a few seconds of silence, I rolled over onto my back, and whispered, "I could have done something. I could have put a kill-switch on the keyboard so Jay wouldn't have had to throw the bomb in. It would have taken, what, maybe thirty more minutes?" I ran my hands threw my hair, and cried, "Why didn't I do it?"

"Shhh," Barry cooed, lying his head onto my chest. He held my hand and explained, "You need to stop doing this to yourself."

I questioned, "Doing what?"

"Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders," he explained. "As Joe would say, 'you're pulling a Barry'. I know that ever since last May you've had terrible PTSD and survivor's guilt that's only gotten worse, and I don't blame you." He pulled off my engagement ring, and held it in his hand. "What's written on the inside of this band?" Barry asked.

"Happiness," I whispered.

"That's right," he explained, and put my ring back on. I rolled over to face him. "Finn, there's nothing more I want in the world than to see you truly happy, but only you can make that happen. You don't want to let go, and I understand that; I didn't want to let go of the Reverse Flash either, but when I finally had my closure and let go, I felt everything melt away and I was truly happy. Whenever you feel sad or guilty about something, all you need to do is think of your happiest memory and everything will be fine."

I smirked, looking up at him, "So you want me to expecto patronum my depression?"

"Basically." Barry smiled, "What did the Pottermore test say your patronus was again?"

"A wolf," I explained, hugging Barry's chest.

Barry kissed my temple, and held me tight to his chest. "I need to get to CCPD early today, or the Captain will kill me for not writing a report on the speedster. I'll be back to get you later." He ran off, leaving me alone in bed.

Morning light peeked through the curtains into our bedroom. I haven't been sleeping very well lately, and today, I couldn't fall asleep all night long.

I sat up, my feet hanging over the side of the bed, and rubbed my tired eyes vigorously; getting rid of the evidence that tears had been there. Sighing, I got up from bed, and made my way to the bedroom door.

The lamps in the living room were turned on by Barry, and the smell of fresh coffee lingered in the air. I walked through the cold living room to the brightly lit kitchen, and sitting on the stone counter was a coffee cup from Jitters and a note from Barry.

Expecto Patronum

(with a drawing of a wolf)

I smiled reading the note, and took the coffee cup from the counter.

_____________________________________________________________________

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A MONTH AND A HALF

I MADE TWO ATTACK ON TITAN FANFICS FOR MYSELF AND THEY COMPLETELY TOOK OVER MY LIFE

LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN READING THEM

(ps. there may be a third one)