Catalyst (probably not going to update anymore, don't watch the show anymore)

Today would have been four months.

Today we would have found out that Henry was a boy.

Today I would have started my second trimester.

Fuck, it hurts.

I stuck a third needle into my right arm, waiting for V-10 to take me away to my only safe place I had left. The drug entered my bloodstream, burning only a little bit, but I wanted more.

I wanted so much more.

Taking the last two prepared needles, I stuck them into my arm, releasing the drug into my body. I felt my inner self disassociate from the outside, like my soul was escaping its hollow vessel, and going to another place—a place where it was safe and far, far away from harm.

The familiar warmth overtook me; a warmth I hadn't felt in nearly a week, but was dearly missed. My eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and they were slowly being dragged down.

Nothing could ever compare to this feeling, absolutely nothing.

Fuck, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep.

My eyes shut with relief, and grief seemed to melt away from my consciousness.

­­________

The ground was cold and hard, and it pressed back against my cheek. I was cold, freezing cold to be exact; my teeth chattered as I lay on the floor, waking up from my high.

What time was it?

My eyes opened slowly, and next to me, I saw empty bottles of Jägermeister and rum. A light blanket covered my shoulders down, but didn't do much for my chills.

"Ugh," I groaned as I gently lifted my throbbing head off the ground.

"Morning sunshine," Cisco said too loudly.

I rubbed my eyes, groaning, "Shut up."

"Uh," Cisco snapped back, "no. You passed out in my workshop, so I'll be loud if I want to." I rolled onto my back, rubbing my face, processing how bad this hangover would be. "Not to mention how you somehow just appeared in here, threw glass bottles on the floor, puked on my vibe goggles, and then passed out."

"What time is it?" I groaned as I sat up from the floor, still able to taste the alcohol on my breath.

Cisco sat on a stool directly over me, like he was waiting for me to wake up. He checked his watch, and replied, "About 11:30 pm."

"Shit," I grumbled, finally fully opening my eyes. "What did I miss?"

Cisco rolled his eyes, and explained, getting off his stool, "Harry and Jesse came to visit from Earth-2, and Jesse's a speedster now."

"That's nice," I mumbled, and then slowly tried to stand up, "good for her. Anything else?"

In my back pants pocket, my phone was buzzing like crazy, so I pulled it out, seeing endless texts and calls from Julian. "Are you okay?" "Finn, are you okay?" "Where are you?" "Do I need to come get you?" "CALL ME!" "ARE YOU OKAY?" "Finn, answer me. Please."

"Apparently, where ever Barry came from, they don't have a Speed Lab, so Harry and Jesse don't remember us having a Speed Lab at all since they're from the same timeline as Barry," Cisco quickly explained, taking the blanket away from me.