抖阴社区

                                    

            I guess that makes me nobody.

            Well, I feel like nobody, anyway.

            I contemplated going to see him or letting him have his space.

            You have to tell him. It's all over now, everything is resolved . . . except this. It would be harder than fighting any metahuman, longer than any fight, and more painful than any wound.

            But it had to be done.

            I got up from the chair I was sitting in, and I felt the emptiness inside me growing. It begged me to sit back down, to not tell him. I walked to the front door, cold, clammy sweat broke over me.

            Don't do it, don't do it. He'll hate you.

            Opening the door, the cool night air hit me. Barry sat on the first porch step, looking up at the night sky; he didn't look back, he knew it was me.

            I can't do this.

            Tears welled in my eyes as I sat down next to Barry, I didn't try to hold them back any more; tears rolled down my face, and I softly said, sniffling, "I need to tell you something."

            Should I look at him?

            I turned my body to face him, my eyes cast downward, and I held his right hand with both of mine. Tears fell onto his hand, and Barry gently asked, "What's wrong?" He brushed the hair that was sticking to my wet face away.

            I couldn't look at him.

            "Last week," I sobbed, explaining to him with my eyes still cast down, "when we set off the particle accelerator," my voice hitched, and I felt myself collapsing from the inside, "everybody got hit with a wave of radiation and dark matter," I wiped some of the tears off my nose, "and a few hours later . . . I—" I wanted to collapse, but Barry's free hand held me up. "i-I had a miscarriage," I finally said it. After all this time of bottling it inside, it finally came out.

            I rested my head onto my hands, sobbing loudly. "What?" Barry asked in shock. I simply nodded my head, unable to respond. "Oh my god," Barry whispered, his voice breaking as he repeated, "Oh my god. Oh my god."

            "Th-then," I sobbed, trying to look at him, but being unable to, "I ran tests to see what happened, and the program s-said that because of your cellular regeneration and my DNA not suppressing the cells, tumors formed everywhere," I finally lifted my head up. Tears streamed down Barry's face like mine. "The tests said that . . . because of this issue, w-we'd never be able to have a successful pregnancy."

            Barry wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. He was silent for a long time.

            "Was it a boy or girl?" he asked, crying.

            I swallowed the lump in my throat, "A boy," I cried. "His name is Henry." I sobbed, and I sobbed, and I sobbed. Guilt pouring over me like hot tar. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm so sorry."

            "Why did you wait so long to tell me?" he asked quietly, rubbing my back.

            I replied, my breath hitching, "I j- I couldn't look at you after you came back from the Speedforce knowing what I'd done to everybody, and then your dad died and then Jay took Joe and I locked you in the pipeline and . . . I couldn't cause you any more pain. I'd done enough to you. But every day, every hour, every minute, every second, it was eating me alive . . . I'm so sorry," I burned my face into his shoulder, sobbing.

            Barry held me for a long time, silent.

            "I have to make things right," he whispered in my ear.

            "What do you mean?" I cried, and Barry peeled me off of him.

            He stood up, and said softly, "Just stay there, close your eyes, and count to ten. Then everything will be fixed. Okay?"

            I wiped the tears off my face, and closed my eyes. Barry began walking down the steps of the house, and I whispered to myself, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."

____________________________________________________________

I just wrote 13 chapters in three days, eight of which were done in one day. I fucking did it.

We're done, we're finally done with season 2.

Get ready for season 3, because it's going to be a whole new level of pain
_______________________________________________________
ALSO LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THESE MONSTROSITIES CALLED CHAPTERS SO YOU CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT EMOTIONAL JOURNEY IVE BEEN THROUGH

on average, each chapter is about THREE full pages on Microsoft word in ELEVEN point font
And if you haven't noticed by now, this story is 95% what I call "on-script" which means that the dialogue in this book is EXACTLY THE SAME AS IT IS IN THE SHOW, which means to create quality fanfic for you guys, I had to rewatch the ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW

My fingers are bleeding, my hands arthritic, and my wrists have developed carpal tunnel
BUT I FUCKING DID IT
100 CHAPTERS BITCHES

Catalyst (probably not going to update anymore, don't watch the show anymore)Where stories live. Discover now