Spring Forward, Fall Back (Alucard x Chubby! Reader)

Chapter 141 - No Really! You're Gonna Love This!

"Stop standing there like a fucking Bernini statue and help me!" Jaimie screeched as his feet slid beneath the front of the sofa. I reserved the facepalm I had ready to walk up to the side of the sofa, pull out an air horn and yell 'COVER YOUR EARS' before placing the horn right next to the offending woman's head and pushed the button.

When the deafening squeal of the horn blasted forth, the redhead threw her head backwards and screamed, losing her grip on the sofa long enough for Jaimie to yank her down to the floor. It was then we noticed that she'd somehow managed to dig her feet into the crevice between the back and seat of the sofa itself, and this also explained why Jaimie had even more trouble with the removal. While the woman was still writhing on the ground, I helped Jaimie dislodge the woman from the furniture and pull her across the room. Robbie jumped up from where he sat and took his phone from his back pocket.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jaimie asked as he helped me reign this woman in.

"I'm calling the cops to get this crazy bitch out of here!" was the answer. Sure enough, he had called the police to have the woman removed from the home.

"What the hell did you do that for?" the woman in question yelled, her face still showing how dazed she was from the horn's blast in her ear.

"Bitch, he was trying to get away from you!" Jaimie yelled. "Not to mention you broke in here and waited for him to sit down! That being said, how the fuck did you get in here?!" Not getting an answer before there was a knock on the door, Jaimie huffed while Robbie opened the door.

"So what seems to be the problem here?" the officer asked as soon as Robbie ushered him in.

"This crazy bitch broke in here and assaulted me," Robbie huffed. The officer looked between the woman on the floor and Robbie and took note of their positions, the way they appeared and looked around the room for anything else.

"And you, ma'am?"

"I came to visit and saw this woman clung to Robbie like an Alien face hugger, her mouth was around both his mouth and nose and both he and his roommate were fighting to get her off him," I responded. "Rather than touching her, I pulled out my self-defense air horn and blasted it at her. It forced her to release the back of the couch long enough for us to pull her off Robbie so he could call the police."

"Ma'am," the officer said as he looked to the redhead, "these people are stating that you broke into the home and assaulted one of the occupants. Physical evidence shows that this is indeed true. Do you have anything to say about this?"

"Robbie's my ex," she stated in a bit of a whine. "I have a key to his place, so I didn't break in."

"Yes you did!" Robbie retorted loudly. "I couldn't get that key back from your crazy ass when we broke up, so I changed all the fucking locks! There's no way you could've gotten in here without breaking and entering!" Jaimie, who had walked out of the room for a moment during the questioning gasped from the back of the dining room and came rushing forward with a piece of glass in his hand.

"The last window next to the stairs is broken in and there's glass all over the floor," he said. "If you didn't break in and the windows weren't broken when we left, how the hell did the window break INWARD?" She tried to deny it, but you could see scratches on her left hand around her knuckles. When she noticed everyone's eyes drawn to her hand, she tried to hide it behind her. The officer sighed heavily before walking over to her and helping her off the ground. A second officer, who had gone around the property after hearing that she may have broken in, came through the doorway and nodded his head.

"There's footprints leading right to that window from the back of the building. I've got a crime scene photographer out there right now, but I can tell you it was her because her ankle and shin have a mix of blood and mud on it," he said as he pointed toward her. Sure enough, there was bloody scratches and mud easily visible on her leg and between the couch cushions.